Subj: Free Excerpt
Date: 00-03-18 11:42:41 EST
From: info@thomasnelsonpublishers.com (Thomas Nelson Publishers)
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Here's your free excerpt from The Death of Innocence, by John and Patsy
Ramsey.
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the book and decide for yourself! You can get the book at any bookstore or
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Christmas Day, 1996
A few flakes of snow drifted over the mountains towering above Boulder,
Colorado, as multicolored lights sparkled in houses up and down the
streets, well before the first rays of sunlight broke on December 25. A
thin curtain of darkness still hung over Fifteenth Street when our
nine-year-old son, Burke, and six-year-old daughter, JonBenét, bounded up
the back stairs to our third-floor bedroom at about 6:30, jumping on our
bed and bouncing up and down. Childhood innocence and excitement in its
purest form.
"C'mon, wake up! It's Christmas!" shouted JonBenét.
"Yeah. We gotta see what Santa brought for us!" Burke chimed in. "Hurry
up."
The previous year on Christmas Eve, Burke had gone to bed at the normal
time and then gotten up at 12:30 a.m., ready to open presents. We tried to
explain that Santa was still working his way across the country. "He's
probably just now in Georgia. You must be sound asleep until morning, to
make sure he stops by." We were doing much better this year since the kids
waited until 6:30 a.m. to rouse us.
"Be careful, guys!" Patsy said, forcing her eyes open. "You'll fall off
the bed."
"Get up, Mom," they cried in unison. "It's Christmas!"
Patsy got up and moved toward her bathroom at the other end of the master
suite. I slipped out of bed and went down the two flights of stairs to the
living room, where Santa had left his surprises. When I was a child, my
dad would keep my brother, Jeff, and me waiting in great anxiety while he
plugged in the tree, put Christmas records on the hi-fi, and set up the 16
mm movie camera and flood lights to record the events of the morning. I
couldn't stand all that waiting then. Now, here I was doing exactly the
same things to my kids, in exactly the same way-making them wait when they
were so excited. Funny how we become so much like our parents as we grow
older.
The kids still believed in Santa. Why shouldn't they? They always had
presents from Mom and Dad-and then got special gifts from Santa. Stop
believing in Santa, and you lose out on a set of gifts. Burke and JonBenét
knew how to work the system. Patsy and I savored the night before
Christmas, helping Santa Claus put everything in place.
Last night had been no different. We had made several trips to the
basement, where Patsy kept the wrapped gifts stashed away. Then she had
arranged them under the fat Fraser fir, which reached to the ceiling of
our living room. Joe Barnhill, our neighbor, had met me in front of our
home with the new bicycle for JonBenét, which he had been hiding in his
basement for us. JonBenét had outgrown her training bike. A bigger bicycle
had been on her wish list, and we could now look forward to some family
bike trips together. All Burke really wanted this year was a Nintendo 64
video game system, and Patsy felt she had scored a real coup by locating
one just a few days prior to Christmas, even though this was the hot item,
sold out everywhere. Several other unwrapped gifts from Santa were
arranged next to the bicycle and the Nintendo so each child would know
whose pile was whose. Santa's unwrapped presents were a tradition from
Patsy's side of the family. It was always a challenge to merge these
family traditions; but after sixteen years, we had our routine down pat.
That Christmas Eve, with all the gifts arranged, Patsy and I had taken in
the beauty of the evening. The tree, the lights, the gifts. It doesn't get
more magical than this, I thought as the timeless melody of "Silent Night"
from the Mannheim Steamroller CD played softly in the kitchen. No other
night of the year held the anticipation of Christmas Eve. Looking up at
the magnificently decorated tree, I thought that it really seemed as if
there were peace on earth. We had no idea how fragile this moment was.
Now, with Christmas morning here, Santa had just one more thing to do
before the little ones waiting on the third floor were allowed to rip into
the picturesque setting. I slipped out to the garage and quickly wheeled
in a new bike for Patsy.
"Okay, everyone," I called up the stairs. "Looks like Santa has been
here!" Down they came, giggling and shouting, and running immediately to
their respective treasures. Patsy was right behind them; she stopped at
the threshold of the living room and looked at me with wide eyes.
"Would you look at that!" I teased. "Santa even brought Mommy a new
bicycle!" We exchanged quick glances. "Boy, that Santa. He's really full
of surprises this year!" Patsy said with a grin, mostly for the kids'
benefit.
The kids screamed and cheered as they realized that Santa had brought just
about everything on their lists. JonBenét wanted to take her new bike
outside for a spin, but Burke suggested, "Let's get all the other gifts
opened first." Ah, the wise and experienced big brother. JonBenét agreed.
They quickly busied themselves playing Santa's elves and distributing the
beautifully wrapped gifts. JonBenét asked for Burke's assistance with the
nametags, since he could read and she couldn't. It was the most fun in the
world, doling out the gifts and seeing whose pile would become the
biggest.
I always insisted that everyone take turns unwrapping a gift, starting
with the kids, since their piles far outweighed ours. Patsy had spent a
lot of time wrapping all those gifts, and we wanted the moment to last as
long as possible. We had inherited this tradition from the Ramsey side of
the family; Patsy's family had always just ripped everything open at once.
"Wow! A remote-control car!" Burke shouted as he raised the prize overhead
for everyone to see.
"That's nice-who is it from?" Patsy asked.
"I dunno," he replied, shrugging his shoulders.
"Let's keep track, so we can write thank-you notes," she urged.
Patsy rearranged the gifts in JonBenét's stack so that a very special box
would be opened last. Inside was a My Twinn doll, fashioned to look like
JonBenét from pictures Patsy had furnished the doll maker, with a couple
of matching outfits so JonBenét and the doll could dress alike.
JonBenét opened the box and examined the doll with a look of curiosity.
"Well, now, doesn't she look like you?" Patsy asked.
JonBenét held the doll at arm's length and tilted her head slightly. "I
really don't think she looks that much like me," she concluded and laid
the doll to one side. She quickly returned to a jewelry craft set, which
she had previously opened.
Patsy looked at me, raised her eyebrows, and gave a disappointed shrug.
Sometimes the big gift you had in mind for your kids really wasn't the hit
you had expected.
Soon JonBenét slipped under the tree and removed a brightly wrapped gift
from its hiding place near the back. She had found exactly the right
present for me at FAO Schwarz during a trip to New York City with her mom
in November. Patsy later told me that when JonBenét had seen the shiny red
gumball machine that dispensed jellybeans, she insisted I had to have it
because I love jellybeans. She marched across the room and proudly
presented the gift to me, with a big hug and kiss.
"Betcha can't guess what this is!" she teased.
"Give me a little hint," I pried. The suspense was too much for her, so
she quickly helped me unwrap the package.
"Oh, wow. Would you look at that!" I exclaimed.
"Do you really like it, Daddy?"
"I sure do, Honey. I love it and I love you!" I gave her a big hug.
A moment later she looked up at me. "Daddy, what about . . .?" She did the
standard charade symbol for a movie camera with one hand to her face and
the other cranking the film reel. She was excited and wanted me to take
home videos.
"Well . . ." I said rubbing my chin. "I forgot to charge the batteries of
the video camera last night. They're all run down. But here is our regular
camera. I can take a few pictures. You get over there next to Mommy."
Since the death of my oldest daughter, Beth, I hadn't wanted to take away
from the moment at hand by stepping out of the scene to videotape or
photograph it. I felt that life was too precious and went past too quickly
to interrupt it by fussing with a camera. Now I wanted to live in the
moment, rather than preserving it for later enjoyment. We had learned the
hard way that sometimes later can be too sad. I still was not up to
looking at the home videos we had made of all those earlier Christmases
when Beth was still with us. I thought about just how special this
Christmas morning was as I snapped a few pictures of the children with
their opened gifts lying around the room. I had no way of knowing these
would be the last photographs I would take of my youngest and most
defenseless daughter.
While the kids played with their gifts, Patsy and I went to the kitchen to
prepare our traditional Christmas morning breakfast of pancakes, bacon,
corn beef hash, and hash browns. I usually made the pancakes, so I got all
the ingredients together while Patsy set the table and cooked the rest of
the breakfast. JonBenét always loved to get into the act and was right
under my elbows, standing on a stool by the stove, to help pour the
pancake batter. She normally liked to make a Mickey Mouse shape with the
batter and decorate it at the table with fruit and raisins to make the
face come to life, but there wasn't time for that on this Christmas Day.
Too many new things to play with. Burke came to the table just long enough
to eat a bite. As far as he was concerned, eating got in the way of
playing.
Once breakfast was over, the day unfolded with the usual chaos of the
neighborhood children coming and going, reporting on the loot that had
been left for them. The boys from across the alley drifted in with their
remote-control toys, and they all went outside to race their
battery-powered cars up and down the street in front of our house.
I watched the scene with a mild sense of amusement. Once the gifts are
opened, dads tend to fade into the wallpaper while the rest of the family
rushes through the day. Patsy got busy preparing for our early morning
departure the next day to Charlevoix, Michigan. She had some last-minute
gift wrapping to finish for John Andrew and Melinda, our older children
from my first marriage. There were a few things for the Charlevoix
neighbor kids as well as a few special gifts for Stewart, Melinda's
fiancé, who would join us for this first-ever family Christmas
get-together at our summer cottage in Charlevoix.
In addition to those tasks, Patsy was packing summer clothes and bathing
suits in suitcases laid out on the bed in John Andrew's bedroom. We had
booked tickets on Disney's Big Red Boat in Florida upon our return from
Charlevoix. The trip would last from December 29 through New Year's, a
great way to celebrate Patsy's fortieth birthday and the New Year. Burke
and JonBenét were very excited about the trip. We had never been on a
cruise and thought that being with Mickey Mouse and Company should be
great family fun.
Patsy was always juggling several balls at once. That day she was even
preparing ahead for a pageant that she and JonBenét were to attend the
first week of January. Most of JonBenét's pageant clothes hung in the big
closet in Melinda's room. Patsy laid out a yellow swimsuit and cover-up on
the dresser in anticipation of the event.
With everyone so busy, I decided to take the opportunity to scoot out to
Jefferson County Airport (Jeffco, as local pilots had nicknamed it) to
check out the airplane for our departure the next day. Patsy reminded me
to be back in time to get ready to go to Fleet and Priscilla White's house
for an early dinner. On the way to the airport, I scanned the skies.
Looked like the weather would be fine for travel tomorrow. I always
started watching the weather days before we were to travel. Since weather
moves from west to east, it was easy to anticipate the weather to the
east, based on the weather that had moved through Colorado earlier. We had
talked about going to Charlevoix before Christmas, but it would have been
a logistical nightmare to arrange for Santa to find us there; we would
have to get all of the goodies to Charlevoix ahead of time and then haul
them back to Colorado afterward. Too hard. Best just to have Christmas in
Boulder and join up with the big kids the day after.
John Andrew, Melinda, and her fiancé, Stewart, would fly Delta Air Lines
from Atlanta to Minneapolis, and since our flight path would take us right
over this city on our way to Charlevoix, it would be easy to stop and pick
up the big kids. (Minneapolis worked because the kids could get cheap
tickets from Atlanta to that city, since no one seemed to want to go to
Minneapolis in the winter.) Patsy, Burke, JonBenét, and I planned to meet
Mike Archuleta, our pilot, at Jeffco in the morning for a 7:00 departure.
That would put us in Minneapolis in time to rendezvous with Melinda, John
Andrew, and Stewart when their plane arrived at eleven. Then we would all
travel together in the family plane to Charlevoix.
Though I was qualified to pilot the Beechcraft King Air C-90 alone, it
always made things easier when Mike came along. With plans for landing in
a busy terminal like Minneapolis during the holidays, his copiloting would
add an extra safety factor. Besides, Mike was like part of the family; he
and his wife, Pam, had no children of their own, so he really took up with
JonBenét and Burke when he was with us. He was comfortable at the cottage
and always helped out around the place; it just seemed natural for him to
come along on this trip.
Of course, everyone enjoyed Charlevoix, a great place to spend the
summers. We had bought our little house, almost sight unseen, in 1992. For
years before that we had visited Charlevoix and spent hours with real
estate agents-and by ourselves-scouting out property in the area. Patsy
named the house Summer Hill because we usually visited in the summer and
it was perched on a hill.
I always loved hanging around airports, and Christmas Day was no
different. I loaded some of the gifts that were going to Michigan and made
sure the plane was ready to go. I inherited the flying bug from my father,
Jay Ramsey, who had been a decorated World War II pilot. His many missions
across the treacherous Himalayas between India and China had earned him a
Distinguished Flying Cross. Flying the "Hump" was risky business, and
these pilots suffered a much higher fatality rate than fighter pilots in
the European theater; I was lucky to have a dad who survived World War II.
When I returned home in the afternoon, JonBenét and Burke were playing
outside with the neighborhood gang. Soon Patsy called for the kids to come
in to clean up a little before the party. She wanted JonBenét to wear a
red turtleneck with her black velvet pants so that mother and daughter
would be dressed alike, but JonBenét wanted to wear the complete outfit
she'd chosen. Finally Mom gave in. JonBenét put on her outfit with her
black boots, which zipped up the front and had a bit of animal print trim
along the top. JonBenét loved to dress up. Burke could care less.
As we were leaving for the Whites' house, JonBenét begged me to help her
ride her new bike, which she had managed to bring outside. She was a tad
wobbly because this bike was quite a bit bigger than her other one, but
she soon steadied herself.
"Daddy, please help me ride my bike around the block, just once."
We didn't have much time before we were due at the Whites', so I promised
that we'd spin around the neighborhood some other time. She looked
disappointed, but agreed. Later I wished I had taken those extra few
minutes. I wish I had remembered the oft-quoted axiom that children spell
love T-I-M-E. I would never again be able to watch her ride a bike. The
new bike was later donated to a church without her ever having enjoyed it.
With a gift basket of different coffees in hand, we arrived at the
Whites', where the festivities were well underway. Several family members
and friends were visiting from out of town, including Priscilla's sisters,
their companions, and her parents. Missing from the gathering were the
senior Whites, because Nyla White, Fleet's mother, was spending the
holidays in a hospital bed in Aspen. Most of us helped ourselves to the
snacks and hors d'oeuvres that Priscilla had prepared, including leftover
cracked crab, which they enjoyed as a family tradition on Christmas Eve.
Priscilla made a small plate especially for JonBenét to make sure there
would be some left for her to try.
Dinner was served in the living and dining rooms, next to the beautifully
decorated Christmas tree, glistening with silver ornaments and ribbons
that reflected Priscilla's passion for all things silver. We had eaten
together last Christmas, so it was beginning to feel like a new tradition
for us to join their family. The fire was ablaze in the fireplace. It was
Christmas Day, and life was good.
After supper, Fleet and I eventually ended up on the living room floor
making paper jewelry with JonBenét and Daphne, the Whites' six-year-old
daughter. Although it was a child's toy, quite a bit of dexterity was
required to make the little paper beads from scratch. Everyone poked fun
at the sight of these two grown men (Fleet is a big guy, over six feet
tall and upwards of two hundred fifty pounds) sitting on the floor with
the girls, trying to wind little strips of colored paper into beads to be
strung into a necklace. Later, some carolers arrived, and we all gathered
at the front door to listen. Fleet and Fleet Jr. went out with the
carolers for a round of stops in the neighborhood.
Sometime around 8:30 or so, we decided to head for home; we had a big trip
ahead of us in the morning and needed to leave on time so we could arrive
in Minneapolis by 11:00. Besides, Patsy wanted to drop off a couple of
gifts on our way home from the Whites'. We pulled up the driveway at the
Walkers' and Patsy took a small package to the door, talked for a few
minutes, and returned to the car. Then we drove over a few blocks to the
Stines' house. Patsy had bid on three gift baskets at a recent silent
auction benefit, and she and Burke took one of the baskets to their door.
We had another basket in the trunk of the car intended for our friends the
Fernies, but decided it was too late now to make any more visits. We would
deliver their gift when we returned from Michigan.
After leaving the Stines', we returned to our house and drove down the
narrow alley to our garage at the back of the house. I pushed the
automatic garage door opener and we rolled in. On the way home, JonBenét
had fallen fast asleep in the back seat. I got her out of the car and
carried her upstairs to her room, laid her on the bed, and took off her
coat and shoes. I was amazed at how sound asleep she was. It had been a
long day for her. Patsy came in to finish getting JonBenét ready for bed.
Meanwhile, I went downstairs to try to get Burke to come up to bed, but he
was deeply involved in assembling the miniature parking garage he had
received that morning. I could tell he wasn't going to go to bed until the
project was finished, so I settled down on the floor beside him. Helping
him complete what his mind was focused on was the best way to get us both
in bed quickly.
At about 9:30 I led Burke upstairs and got him ready for bed, then tucked
him in and turned out the light. I went on up to our room on the third
floor, which we had converted from an attic space to a master suite in
1993. Patsy was already in bed. I got ready, took a melatonin tablet to
insure a good night's sleep, set the alarm clock for 5:30 a.m., and read
in bed for a short while before turning out the light.
Unfortunately, I slept soundly.
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